My Ten Worst Films of the Year 2021

Infinite

Infinite is one of those movies where various people have agreed the quality a whole load of things; the plot, the dialogue, the casting, the action choreography, the shot composition, and so it finds its way to completion and before they knew it, it was in the can. In the can has two meanings though and that is where this movie should have been thrown. No one stood back to see if all of these different elements worked together and whoops!, they don’t. Infinite is so close to being a good film but ultimately that seemed to be out of reach at every turn.

Read the full review here
.

The Woman in the Window

I have this expression that I have realised I keep using in my reviews; I often say a film was ‘sufficiently diverting’ which essentially just means that I just watched the movie to the end. It isn’t much of an accolade is it? This 90s throwback manages to achieve this slight measure by copying lots of much better films as Amy Adams, a home alone single white female stares spellbound out of a rear window and is eyewitness to a murder most foul.

Read the full review here
.

The Sparks Brothers

This documentary about the band Sparks was celebrated by many but I found it really boring. A good doc can be fascinating even if you have no previous interest in the subject but this one wasn’t sufficiently diverting.

Read my discussion and ranking of all of Edgar Wright’s films here
.

Army of the Dead

The undead genre has been taken to some great places recently with such films as The Girl With All the Gifts, Cargo, Train to Busan, Warm Bodies and One Cut of the Dead to name a few. All of this is undone by Zack Snyder in this unsurprising, uninspiring cankerous, poisonous, rotting carcass of a movie. It is an insult to any creative who has ever penned anything with the word zombie in it, especially The Cranberries.

Read the full review here
.

Mortal Kombat

The question over whether there are any good films adapted from computer games keeps coming up. It’s a redundant conversation because there are several examples that confirm that there are; films like Rampage and this year’s Werewolves Within. The reason the notion that all video game movies are bad prevails though is because of laboured dreck like this.

Read the full review of Mortal Kombat here

Read the full review of Werewolves Within here
.

Kate

Think of every possible cliche you can from female assassin movies and write them down. That’s how they came up with the screenplay for this film.

Read the full review here
.

Bliss

Bliss is about people living in a false existence who suddenly wake up and find that something else entirely different is happening to them. I wished this has been the case for me while I was watching this film but alas it was my reality.

Read the full review here
.

Outside the Wire

Outside the Wire is ostensibly a robot movie and sure enough if it were asked to click on all the boxes that had street signs in them it would fail the test, not because of it’s artificial nature though but because it will have forgotten what it was doing before the task was complete. Seriously, the idea that the hero cop at the heart of this story is an android seems to constantly escape the minds of the writers. You could take this aspect out and it would make absolutely no difference to the movie whatsoever.

Read the full review here
.

Blithe Spirit

So you’ve got a play by legendary wit and writer Noël Coward, the author of over sixty plays and close to ten musicals as well as more famous songs than you know. A man whose works have resulted in twenty films including Brief Encounter and in In Which We Serve and of who Time magazine wrote ‘he has an equalled sense of personal style, a singular combination of cheek and chic, pose and poise’. Who then would rewrite it, heavily editing the dialogue and changing the ending? These people that’s who. The result is not good.

Read the full review here
.

Barb and Star Go To Vista Del Mar

Most of the films above were ‘sufficiently diverting; there were even brief parts of Army of the Dead that interested me. This one I hated though. It is just so painfully unfunny that you feel mortified for the people involved while you are watching it. I am so pleased to have seen Kenneth Branagh’s Belfast because I was convinced Jamie Dornan would never work again after this. He already had 50 Shades of Grey to account for and then he made it worse. For Dornan’s sake and ours I hope he is a little more picky from now on. Similarly Kristen Wiig needs to take a long hard look at her professional life. She and co-star Annie Mumalo wrote this, killing any good favour for authoring Bridesmaids. It’s all just terrible. It makes Will Ferral look like Buster Keaton.

Read the full review here if you can face it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s