The Magnificent Seven 7 Ranked

As the new Magnificent Seven film is released for home viewing we consider how the seven films now bearing the same plot stack up against each other.
.

1. The Magnificent Seven (1960)

A group of men persuade an ageing gunslinger to help protect their rural village from group of vicious bandits. Working for much less than his normal fee the cowboy gathers together a group of six other experienced fighters and along with the newly motivated and battle trained farm folk they defeat those that had been terrorising them. This comes at a cost though as only three of the warriors survive.

.

2. The Seven Samurai 

In the original film a man persuades an ageing samurai to help protect his rural village from group of vicious bandits. Working for much less than his normal fee the samurai gathers together a group of six other experienced fighters and along with the newly motivated and battle trained farm folk they defeat those that had been terrorising them. This comes at a cost though as only three of the warriors survive.

.

3. The Three Amigos

A pretty woman apparently persuades three film actors to help protect her village from group of vicious banditos. Thinking they are putting on a show and hoping for some fee the movie stars soon realise the reality of their situation and along with the newly motivated farm folk and some cheap special effects they defeat those that had been terrorising them. This comes at no cost though as all three of the actors survive.

.

4. Galaxy Quest

A alien apparently persuades the cast of a sci-fi TV show to help protect his planet from group of vicious invaders. Thinking they are putting on a show and hoping for some fee the actors soon realise the reality of their situation and along with the newly motivated aliens they defeat those that had been terrorising them. This comes at the cost of some alien lives but all of the actors survive.

.

5. A Bug’s Life

A plucky ant apparently persuades a theatre troupe to help protect his colony from group of vicious grasshoppers. Thinking they are putting on a show and hoping for some fee the theatre bugs soon realise the reality of their situation and along with the newly motivated insects masses they defeat those that had been terrorising them. This comes at little cost as everyone but the chief grasshopper survive. In a surprisingly dark turn for a kids film he is torn apart by birds.

.

6. The Magnificent Seven (2016)

A pretty woman persuades an ageing gunslinger to help protect her rural village from group of vicious bandits. Working with what by now is a very tired plot line, the cowboy gathers together a group a six other experienced fighters and along with the newly motivated and battle trained farm folk they, quelle surprise, defeat those that had been terrorising them. This comes at a cost though as, wouldn’t you know it, only three of the warriors survive.

.

7. Battle Beyond the Stars

A young man and a pretty woman he has just hooked up with persuade an ageing space trucker to help protect the man’s rural planet from group of vicious mutants. Working for the cheque, George Peppard gathers together a fleet of six other starships and a group of alien clones and along with the newly motivated and armed farm folk they defeat those that had been threatening them. This comes at a cost though as only two of the warriors and no one’s sense of dignity survives.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s