Swish Army Man
Daniel Radcliffe stars as a smart and fashionable young soldier with excessive flatulence.
The Neon Demonstration
A beautiful young model makes her contemporaries dangerously jealous when she takes part in an austerity march with a protest sign made with pretty twisty light bulbs.
Hello or Highbury Water
Not a contemporary Western about two brothers robbing banks to keep the family home, rather a film about having to choose between greeting people or swimming around a pond in North East London.
Steven Spielberg’s magical film about a young orphan called Sophie who meets a new friend who she can do her nails with and talk to about boys.
The Dani Girl
A moving drama about a pioneering and brave individual who refused to live their life trapped inside the body they were born with, deciding instead to become Kylie Minogue’s sister.
Not a film about how Hollywood screenwriter Dalton Trumbo fell victim to prejudice and small minded politics, rather a film about how the whole of the US fell victim to prejudice and small minded politics.
A much better idea for a sequel than the belated and laboured follow up to Ben Stiller’s vapid male model comedy.
The Mechanic: Resit
Jason Statham, you’ve failed. You have one more attempt.
Which is actually a more fitting title because it is exactly what I felt toward Charlie Kaufman’s soul destroying little puppet drama.
Pride & Prejudice & Wombles
Elizabeth and her sisters have to face greater challenges than finding a worthy husband after they accidentally drop litter on Wimbledon Common.