The Whole Marvel Cinematic Universe in Under a Minute

Steve and Bucky want to fight in World War II but Steve is only internally strong. Then Steve is injected with magic science juice and becomes an awesome super soldier. Bucky falls off a train, Steve falls out of the sky – both appear to die. Peggy loved Steve and partly because she is inspired by his heroism and partly because she’s cool anyway, fights bad guys and inter-dimensional goo before setting up a defence agency called SHIELD with a rich inventor called Howard.
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Howard and Peggy want a smart guy named Hank to join their gang too but he won’t. Howard and his wife are killed by Bucky, who didn’t die but was brainwashed and turned into an assassin with a robot arm.

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Some years later Howard’s son Tony is kidnapped and builds a tooled up metal suit to escape. SHIELD want him to join their gang but he won’t. A batch of new but faulty magic science juice messes up a guy called Bruce turning into him an indestructible green hulk whenever he’s angry. 

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Tony drinks some booze.

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A cute blond alien lands in New Mexico.

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Steve is found alive in the Arctic.

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SHIELD recruits Steve, Tony with his metal suit, Bruce and the cute blond alien to fight the cute blond alien’s brother.

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Tony is shaken up by the experience.

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SHIELD fights a secret agency called HYDRA.

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The cute blond alien fights an ugly northern alien in Greenwich (which is apparently three tube stops from Charing Cross).

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Steve discovers that HYDRA was running SHIELD all along. He meets Bucky again which confuses them both.

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A man, a raccoon, an Ent and some other aliens fight each other in outer space.

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On Earth, alien crystals start turning some humans into super powered inhumans.

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Tony and Bruce build a big robot that unfortunately tries to destroy the world. Tony, Bruce, Steve and the cute blond alien fight it with the help of two ex SHIELD agents, two freaky siblings and a physically impossible synthetic man who is too complicated to explain here.

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Hank is now old and gives a secret shrinking suit to a guy named Scott. He then gives another one to his daughter. (About damn time!)

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A blind lawyer called Charlie and a super powered lady, who is just trying to live a normal life, fight crime in New York.

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People start having a go at Tony and Steve for trashing New York, Washington and a made up place called Sokovia while defending the world from they aliens, HYDRA and big robots. No one mentions Greenwich. Tony and Steve fall out about it which is made worse when Steve and Bucky become friends again and Tony finds out Bucky killed his mum and dad. The two ex SHIELD agents, one of the freaky siblings, the impossible robot man, Scott (but not Hank’s daughter), a feline themed ninja king, a spider man and Tony’s best buddy (who up to this point has been largely incidental and is now totally dispensable) get mixed up in it too. 

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Peggy dies of old age and her show gets cancelled.

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There are some magic space stones as well. I think the cute blond alien is looking for them. They’ll be important later.

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Boom!

   

    
   

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