Superhero films are all about getting the gang together at the moment. Marvel have managed it so well with their movies that now, without an ounce of concern about riding on that studio’s coat tails, everyone else is playing the same game.
The most high profile case of this copycatting is DC and Warner Brothers’ up coming Superman Vs Batman ft. Wonder Woman movie. This itself will then lead into Justice League flick. They are not the only ones though, Sony are at it too with Spider Man and The Sinister Six. The Amazing Spider Man 2 also introduced Felicity Jones as Felicia Hardy and if you are wondering why such a high profile actress had such a small part it is because Felicia Hardy is the mild mannered alter ego of Black Cat. (Great agility, great night vision, changes people’s luck, lands on all fours etc etc.)
Of course no matter how awesomely powered the individuals in question, they are all slave to rights negotiations. You won’t see Spidey, Wolverine and Captain America buddying up on screen despite them all being Marvel Characters because three different companies own the film rights.
DC and Marvel are clearly two completely different organisations, telling stories in two completely different universes so you wouldn’t expect them to mix anymore than you’d expect James Bond to come up against Secret Squirrel but lets imagine a world with no borders. After all, you never know. Apparently, at one stage, the last Die Hard film was going to have John McClane working alongside Jack Bauer so stranger things have almost happened.
To be honest, I don’t think we’ll ever see DC and Marvel heroes breathing the same air. If it didn’t happen in The Lego Movie where Superman fought alongside Dumbledore, Gandalf and the Teenage Ninja Turtles then it isn’t going to happen anywhere. Both comic companies actually have Lego toy lines as well. Clearly Marvel said they weren’t going if DC were invited and presumably they are now in a huff because Lego chose the other guys.
Anyway, let’s have a look at some of those dream teams:
Wolverine & Super Ted
I’m not sure these two would amiably battle alongside one another but the clash of personalities would be fascinating. One of them is sarcastic, belligerent and irreverent and the other is cuddly, gentle and considerate to a fault. One of them is made of soft material and stuffed with fluff, the other has very sharp metal claws. You know you want to see how that one plays out.
The Mask & Unbreakable David
Again, the attraction here is one of contrasts. M. Night Shyamalan’s Unbreakable presents us with a superhero origin story set in the real world and the Jim Carrey film kind of goes the other way. I can just imagine a scene where Bruce Willis’ shy and unassuming everyman puts on Loki’s mask and finds such release and abandonment that he actually smiles a little. I’m sure there’d be room for Tom Hiddleston in this film somewhere as well.
Batman & Captain Caveman
Batman has already teamed up with Scooby Doo so there is a precedent for him appearing in the Hannah Barbara world.
The good thing about Robin the Boy Wonder was that his optimism and ebullience balanced out the darkness of the tortured Bruce Wayne and I think they could take that a little further with Captain Caveman.
They have a lot in common too. Both of them can hide surprisingly large quantities of tools and gadgets about their person, always able to produced what they need to get the job done, and they both have an eye for the ladies.
The Fantastic Four & The Incredibles
This would go one of two ways as the two teams are so similar. Either they’d get on beautifully or there’d be friction the likes of which you’d never see anywhere else.
They’ve got to try though as Jack Jack needs a more capable babysitter.
I’d also like to see Mr. Fantastic and Elastigirl together. (Not in a slash fiction way.)
Iron Man, The Rocketeer & Gizmo Duck
I’m picturing The Rocketeer zooming in with his budget propulsion system and his Flash Gordon helmet only to be met by Tony Stark in $120,000,000 of super suit.
I’m sure Tony would be sensitive to any sense of inadequacy the young adventurer may feel and there would be no sarcastic comments or belittling nicknames.
I then see Gizmo Duck from Disney’s Duck Tales rolling in and the competition would be over. Now that’s a cool outfit!
Spider Man & Scott Pilgrim
I am sure Peter Parker and Scott Pilgrim would get on. They are both such apparently unassuming young men with inexplicable fighting skills and a gift for a good kiss off line. I’m worried there might be less action and more angst though. They’ve got a lot of girlfriend issues.
Night Owl & Batfink
These two could find solidarity in the fact that both of them really want to be Batman.
Mystique & Underdog
Whereas Mystique and Underdog would join forces to fight a common enemy because they’ve both got a gripe with Peter Dinklage. Chris Evans has played Captain America and The Human Torch, Ryan Reynolds was Deadpool and The Green Lantern but neither should over shadow Dinklage’s double duties as the superbly named villains Boliver Trask and Simon Barsinister.
In fact, does that guy chose scripts based outlandish monikers? This is the man who has played characters called Tyrion Lannister, Finbar McBride, Benson Hedges, Dusty Spitz and Lemon.
I’ve drifted away from the superheroes here with the interest mostly being on Dinklage but actually, that happens a lot with his movies.
Green Lantern & Obi Wan Kenobi
Speaking of the Green Lantern, this guy has a ring that, through the power of his mind, can produced ghostly but corporeal manifestations of large objects for him to wield such as hammers, shields or guns.
Imagine if someone else was controlling his mind though, what would happen then? These are not the tools you are looking for.
Thor & Buzz Lightyear
These spacemen go through a similar journey. They both start off with overblown and pompous ideas about themselves but learn humility from the ordinary people around them. Imagine if they’d not met Jane Foster and Woody but instead had come across one another.
They are both charged with policing the universe and while they would clash at first I’m sure they would find a way to respect one another and get the job done. It could be the ultimate buddy cop movie.
Hit Girl & Bananaman
Two seemingly innocent school children, struggling to fit in among their peers by day but taking down dangerous criminals by night.
One likes slicing things, one is a banana.
Rocket Racoon & Mighty Mouse
The animal kingdoms greatest heroes. We’d start off with these two in a film together, perhaps with Howard the Duck in a post credit cameo. Then we’d bring in Sonic the Hedgehog for the sequel along with the aforementioned Gizmo Duck and Underdog already popular off the back of their own movies.
Come on Hollywood, make it happen. You can have all of those suggestions for free.