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I’m having trouble with my list this year. Every December I post the top ten of my favourite films of the last twelve months and this comes from a full list that I maintain and add to every time I see a new movie. There’s always a little bit of shuffling around but generally once entered each title does not rise or fall much among those around it.

2023 is proving tricky though; there are a small group of films at the top that I’ve repositioned several times and right now anyone of them could settle at number one in four months time. Oppenheimer is of course among them but there’s also the breathtaking animation and tight storytelling of Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, the delightful playing with filmic conventions in romcom Rye Lane, the searing focus and brilliant commentary on gender issues in Women Talking (please don’t tell me you thought I was going to say Barbie) and the epic plotting and beautifully drawn canvas of anime film Suzume (which is the one that my youngest daughter passionately feels should be winning out). Now we have American/South Korean romance Past Lives which absolutely needs to be considered alongside these brilliant and varied movies (much to the chagrin of said offspring but she can come back to me when she’s seen all of the others). This first film from playwright Celine Song is an exceptional examination of human connection, reminiscence, national identity, culture, family and growing up. Even among those other films mentioned, it might be the best movie I have seen this year.

The story centres on Nora who as a young adolescent develops a strong connection with a boy in her class at school. Just as they grow close though, she and her family move to Canada and the pair lose touch. Then years later they reconnect online and eventually meet up again in New York, which brings back some element of the feelings that they once had for one another. By this stage though, Nora is in a long term relationship with someone else so is not easily free to fall back into what she had in adolescence.

On hearing this plot you might have an idea of how this plays out and indeed there could be a different version of this that works it’s way toward a typical Hollywood ending, but this is not that film. With its Manhattan location there is an awareness of cinematic literacy and it toys with what we have seen in this setting before (there are definite elements of When Harry Met Sally in the friendship over time structure) but the layer of honesty and realism that it effortlessly paints over this canvas knowingly sets it apart.

Starting off as an easy relationship drama, Song’s movie then builds with a gentle power and becomes a parable to the fragile bridges we build between youth and adulthood. Never overbearing, in fact often quite light in its touch, it turns the spotlight on how our connections with others are based on shared experiences and how the nature of these influences the strength of those links. Treading a delicate line of ambiguity with its protagonist’s motivations throughout, the film then suddenly bursts at the end in a touching swell of strong but contained emotion.

The trio of people that the story heavily features; Nora, her old friend and her husband, are all brilliantly written and superbly realised by Song and her cast. Teo Yoo, who played a key supporting part in Park Chan Wool’s last film Decision to Leave, and John Magaro, who is that guy from that thing (more specifically The Many Saints of Newark, The Big Short, First Cow and Carol) are both really good as the two men and both deserve to be more front and centre in the future. It is Greta Lee’s film though. You might recognise Lee from Russian Doll or The Morning Show but her highest profile movies have been voice work including different parts in both Spider-Verse films. She definitely deserves to become better known as her performance here is understated but totally precise. Her Nora is so well observed and believable with actions that are open and honest but not undamaging or selfless. None of the three are demonised as they could have easily been in that other version of the film I spoke about and they, like the whole movie are perfectly measured in every respect.

Past Lives is just wonderful, that much I do know where ever it ultimately ranks.

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