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So it seems that Sylvester Stallone has run out of characters from his past that he can know return to in his later years. This being the case he has had to start appearing as older versions of people that never got a movie in the first place. This is like a legacy sequel with no legacy.

This film then recalls the story of Samaritan who was a famous superhero back in the late 90s (Remember him? No you don’t.) Now though, as old threats resurface there is a man caught up in action who might just be the long absent vigilante. If you think this sounds corny, you have no idea.

As soon as you see the OTT flame imagery over the opening credits you know that this movie will not be going for subtlety and nuance. By the time a voice over has brought us up to speed on the legend of Samaritan and the villain he was once locked in a never ending battle with, a bad guy named Nemesis (I’m not kidding) then you’ll know exactly what to expect for the rest of the running time.

In fact have a go at these questions and see what your guesses are:

1. The man who is suspected to be the long lost hero is:

a.) An influential member of the city, known by all.

b.) A regular cop, still committed to fighting crime.

c.) An unassuming garbage man, constantly keeping his head down and his hood up.

2. The person who discovers his true identity is:

a.) His postman

b.) His boss

c.) Some plucky kid who lives in the same apartment block

3. The kid and his mum are:

a.) Living a comfortable life with few real concerns.

b.) Staying with friends while their own place is being redecorated.

c.) desperately poor.

4. Having been successfully in hiding for a decade and a half, the man sees someone in the street in minor peril and:

a.) Knows not to get involved else people discover his secret.

b.) Calls the police.

c.) Immediately demonstrates his full powers for all to see.

How did you do? I’m fairly confident you’ll have scored well.

There is also a possible twist to the story that is so obvious that I immediately knew, come the end, I would either be bemoaning the fact that they’d been so predictable for including it or horribly disappointed that they’d not gone in the direction that they’d been heading in. Either way, it’s so laboured they weren’t going to win. I’m not telling you which it was but believe me, you won’t be surprised.

Oh, and there’s a magic hammer that looks like a prop from a Laurel & Hardy film. (‘Okay, Stanley. When I nod my head you hit it.’)

With all of this then, is the Samaritan good?

Well, not really but I have to say Stallone does carry it a fair way. He is a likeable screen presence and even if this isn’t bringing back a character from his early filmography, it does successfully lean on the good will he created with the parts he has played. There’s a little bit of Copland’s Freddy Heflin here, a little bit of John Spartan and little bit of Tango.

Superhero films have exploded in all kinds of wonderful directions in the years since Samaritan has been away (he hasn’t been away) but this film clearly has no truck with any of that. Made two years ago this is one of the films they are saying has been ruined by Covid, finally creeping out now on Amazon Prime, but I suspect this wouldn’t ever have seen the inside of a cinema. It’s fine if you are bored one evening and crucially it won’t exacerbate that too much but it’s not great. Ultimately Samaritan’s return (it’s not a return) was not one we needed.

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The Ripley Factor:

The two female characters in this film are:

a.) Key to the plot and drive the story in fascinating directions.

b.) There to challenge stereotypes about the representation of women in these types of movies.

c.) a mum and a moll.

Have a guess.