My 10 least favourite films of 2020

Bloodshot

If I’m honest I quite enjoyed this film. The reason it is here on the list is simply because there were around eighty other films that I enjoyed more. Oh, and it isn’t actually very good. The story is predictable, the acting one note, the effects too often inadequate and the idea of Vin Diesel being the ultimate super soldier laughable. It still kept me entertained though. Unlike the other movies on this list I’d tentatively recommend it. Lamorne Morris from TV’s New Girl is particularly good in it.


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The Secret Garden

This new adaptation of Frances Hodgson Burnett’s classic children’s story is not a classic in its own right. The performances from the kids are good, especially Dixie Egerickx as Mary, but the film makers totally missed the point of the book; that the garden seems magic not that it is actually magic. This is from the producers of Harry Potter but they shouldn’t have been trying to capture the same spirit as those films. The Secret Garden book has a spirit of its own and here it got lost.

Read the full review here


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Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga

I think Rachel McAdams is great but unfortunately Will Ferrell is just really, really annoying. The greatest contest here is which of these two screen presences will win out and while it’s close, it sadly isn’t her.

Read the full review here


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The New Mutants

This X-Men film both references the brilliant Logan and makes you feel as if it never happened. It features a group of entirely new characters whose superpowers are sulking, posturing, frowning, cliche and casual racism respectively. What a disappointing end to a once great movie series.

Read the full review here

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Artemis Fowl

So the whole plot revolves around the need to keep the fairy world a secret yet it is all told in flashback as a dwarf, who has the size and appearance of a normal human, voluntarily gives all the details of the trolls, elves and magic to MI6 agents. That’s like the murderer getting away it, then calling Poirot themselves but not so that he can try working it out but so that the they can call him into the drawing room on his arrival and tell him how and why he/she did it straight away.

Read the full review here


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Noelle

The idea of Santa’s children taking over his job, with one of them failing to measure up and the other more frivolous Christmas obsessed one having to step in, dealing with confidence issues on the way, sounds like it could be utterly charming. In fact it is in Arthur Christmas. In this film though it is laboured, predictable and a little dull.

Read the full review here


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Cleanin’ Up the Town: Remembering Ghostbusters

2020 was supposed to see the release of Ghostbusters: Afterlife which looked like it was going to bring new and surprising truths and perspectives on the original 1984 movie. Instead we got this documentary which did none of that.

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Dolittle

At the end of this movie, Robert Downey Jr’s version of the famous animalingual doctor pulls a set of bagpipes out of the butthole of a dragon, realising a prolonged stream of flatulence. This is the most sophisticated part of the whole film.

Read the full review here

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Hubie Halloween

This film is so bad it is actually painful to watch. I think someone must have thought that it was funny but it really, really isn’t and I can’t understand why they couldn’t see this. I’m embarrassed for them. Adam Sandler followed his incredible performance in Uncut Gems with this and he is truly terrible in it. The character he plays is about as funny as Manchester By The Sea. I can only assume he was so disgruntled about not getting an Oscar nomination for his previous film, that he thought sod it. I have to be honest with you, I got almost all the way through this then skipped to the denouement so if there is fifteen or so minutes of brilliance just before the end then I apologise.


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Desperados

Hubie Halloween might be bad but at least it doesn’t have lame jokes about animal genitalia (unless there’s some in that fifteen minutes) and a strong feminist sensibility that gets jettisoned in the first five minutes in favour of a plot all about a woman needing a man to have any self worth. Even Lamorne Morris from TV’s New Girl can’t save it.

Read the full review here

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